


It's Not Fair

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Hurt, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-18 18:22:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21531283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It hurts like nothing else, when your other half is ripped apart from you.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Kudos: 12





	It's Not Fair

**I.** It's not fair that you're gone and it's not fair that I have to hurt. It's not fair that I was the one left with scars, but you got away unscathed. It's not fair that I don't get to see you or talk to you or call you or ask how you're doing because you're so far away. You're gone. You're dead. Dead to me…at least, I thought. Because the longer we were apart, the more I started to miss you.

 **II.** Thoughts of you now are like shards of glass cutting into my heart. I thought it was mercy gradually learning to forget about you, forgetting you ever existed, but it was only agony. It is only ever agony when your bright white smiled flashes into my mind and I dig my sharp nails into my palms to chase away the memories. I don’t want them. I just want to be free. I want you. More than you'll ever know, now that you’re gone.

 **III.** Just come back. Maybe it'll be different, and we can love each other again and we can move on. It's better than waiting on a phone call. Better than not knowing if you're still alive. I want to put my hand to your chest, feel your lungs expanding, feel you breathing in oxygen, breathing in _life_. Knowing you're alive, just the thought of it is so intoxicating. I want to intertwine our ﬁngers and feel your warm skin against mine, feel your arms around me, cry for a thousand years...

 **IV.** I miss you.

 **V.** Where are you?

 **VI.** Just… please. Come back.

 **VII.** Does it end with taking deep gulps of air and clenching my fists, before gritting my teeth against the pain of being vulnerable to another? Does it end with scrambling for purchase against a steep, jagged cliff, refusing to plunder into the dark depths once again? Or does it end with me, imperfect and yet too perfect, chipping away at the sharp edges sticking out of me, until they are perfect and smooth to the touch?   
  
Well, now I’ll know because there you are. So whole and so perfect and real. There you are….  
  
Your chest, swelling with oxygen. Your hands, so warm. And finally, I hold you….

 **VII.** But it is only a dream.


End file.
